I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
If I would have known that wiping my dick on her pillow would have caused her to leave........
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
For the amount I put out, I should be going on way more dates.
he threw up on me, hugged my legged and then started laughing. when i asked him why, he said "it's like the sour patch kids commercials."
He was sitting on the bathroom floor, swirling his finger in the toilet singing the Laguna Beach theme song. I don't know whether to laugh or help him.
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
'Twas I. Do you have any idea what it's like waking up to see you sent a text inviting someone to partake in "sexy rumpus?"
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
Watching her eat just hurts me
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
If I had a mugshot, I would totally use it as my main picture on Tinder, just to keep it interesting.
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
I balled in the shower for 20 minutes, rolled up to the meeting late looking like a gremlin, and my one night stand was standing there in a suit
Randomize
