Grow some girl-balls and come out already
My favorite part of our friendship is your tits.
no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
If I banged a coworker last night but didn't enjoy it can I put it down on my timesheet?
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
I'm in that weird half-dead, half fucked-simultaneously-in-every-orifice-by-a-bus-and-it-wasn't-a-good-time state.
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
Listen here, Ms. "I'm Gonna Get Super Drunk and Run From My Friends Screaming That They Were Going to Drag Her to a Scientology Recruitment Camp"...
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
Randomize
