I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
I love our strategizing... I wish we used the same passion for planning our lives and future that we use for planning our drunken escapades... We would both be doctors by now, I swear
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
Just woke up from a dream where I had lesbian sex with myself (a clone of me)... Take that, Freud!
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
I had to carry him up the hill while he was wearing nothing but knee high socks and a blue glitter sequin leotard.
Why is this not a picture message?
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
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