tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
I was going to clean my house but wine sounded better
I somehow fell asleep on my kitchen counter using the microwave as a pillow
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
my roommate just showed up covered in dirt, drunk....with a whole ice cream cake that says "it's a girl".
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
Weird come down, just saw a woman on the train go to grab something and realised she had terrifying hands. They literally filled me with dread. I don't think I'm ok.
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
Randomize
