we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
Hey guess what I got for Valentine's day? Debt and blue balls.
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
There's Dick Pix, Zorro, and The Little Engine that Could. I nickname my fuck buddies for the exact same reason why you don't name animals which you will one day have for dinner.
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
I just split a tacobell party box with my boss. 12 tacos. We were equals for a moment.
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