he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
One of my coworkers just invited me to a wet t-shirt contest this weekend in honor of her son's 21st Birthday.
im just gonna lie here and collect money in this whoppers bag while sprawled out on this bench and explain that its to buy weed for my hangover
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
You yell at me for giving you beer but not for licking spilled beer off your chest.
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
I wrote a pretty good eulogy, too. Motherfucker pastor had no sense of comedic timing.
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
Apparently I was carrying around a bottle of listerine calling it 5 loco
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