oh. my. god. the guy i hooked up with last night is currently wearing a dress.
i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
All he was doing was sitting in the car, staring. We asked him what was wrong and he just turned, smiled, and said "everything has its own pair of boots"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
Bren left me with a lovely parting gift. Newfouund alcoholism. I'm on the kitchen floor, hugging a bottle of vodka. It's my only friend now.
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When my mom found out he was a high school drop out she was like "seriously? Can we raise the bar a little higher next time kels?" So my moms pretty cool
Naked chocolate chip pancake making. I just spilled mix all over the place. My boobs are covered in flour. This is not going well.
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
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