dear santa what can i do with your candy cane?
one should ask oneself what kind of lifestyle one is leading when one finds a handprint of semen on their pillow the next day.
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
Why is the garage door in the middle of the street?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
the dude in the apartments across the street got a video of me railing blake on your front steps last night
shit like this is why i dont let you drink vodka anymore ..
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
You know you've made it in life when the people in the next stall are cheering on your orgasm
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