you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
Sam was like the mother fucking Moses of drunk and underage kids and he lead them to safety away from the cops. He's a hero that we deserve.
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
Death by dick. An honorable death. Put a picture of his dick in the photo collage at my funeral.
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
Randomize
