Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
1. Sorry about making it snow. 2. If it left a mess, I will be over to clean it. 3. Can that fire extinguisher still be used? If not, I'll buy a new one. 4. I just wanted to make it snow!
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
Just walked into a random hotel for the free breakfast. How was your night?
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
Good morning! So would you prefer me to show up kind of late or on time but looking like I got chewed up and spat out by an episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer?
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
I didn't know how to commemorate his death, so I snorted a fat line off of his obituary. Rest in peace.
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
A condom just fell out of me. Happy Tuesday.
Randomize
