i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
I will one day have loud vengeance sex as my revenge against you. Until then I'm just going to sit in the living room playing John Mayer while you're trying to do it.
the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
i drank out of a bidet.
So i realized that if i bought everything from my google search history for the past week i would have a dolphin, a wolf costume, a unicorn costume, a katana and a bullet proof vest. Not sure how the dolphin would fit in but the rest of it would end up in one awesome night or someone would die. Either way i say we do it.
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
I'm pretty sure that's why we have such good sex because we are secretly trying to kill each other
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
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