reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
My fight-or-flight response is really more fight-or-fuck
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
The waitress bought us a round. She said if anyone could do 52 margarita mondays in a row, it was us.
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
We're going to ride the bus of mixed signals all the way to unrequited love town and that's where I'm going to live my life and then die.
STOP BUYING ALADDIN PANTS WITH MY AMAZON CREDIT CARD
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
Randomize
