Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
No, you always delete them without reading. Enjoy the virtue of morning innocence. What are you doing today.
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
Lol okay. He's gonna show up with like a trunk of sex toys. He's like the mary poppins of hotel fucking.
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
I'm done being drunk I wish I could snap my fingers and be sober
There's a quesaritto in the oven. Neither of us have been to Taco Bell in 3 weeks.
Overheard a drunk girl talk about how when she's drunk she believes in more than one God
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
Randomize
