Hungover Fun Fact #4: Eating a grilled stuffed burrito WILL make you blow chunks in the ice maker at work.
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
I couldnt bring myself to steal alcohol from my dead grandma
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
You know it's bad when I'm eating a cold chicken breast alone in bed 😕
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
THEY LEFT ME IN A CLUB BY MYSELF. I’M SO ANNOYED. I’M GOING TO FUCK THEIR BARTENDER FRIEND. Caps only because I’m really mad.
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
I’M PUT OFF FROM FOOD RN BC EARLIER I GOT SOME WATER AND I WAS 4 SIPS IN WHEN I NOticed A FUCKING BURGER KING F R Y IN MY D R I N K
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
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