thus making me awesome and them whores
Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
he stole me 6 pairs of frilly undies and proclaimed "your ass looks like a 5 in those. it'll be a 10 in these bad boys". every girl needs a gay bff.
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
I should start handing out wavers before I have sex with someone. 1. Do you have anything to do tomorrow? 2. Are you ok with sleeping 12 hours from exhaustion. 3. Are you ok with a limp?
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
I just chased my hot mailman down the street to ask him out and now I am 98% positive he gave me a fake number.
You woke up, looked straight at me and screamed "fuck barbara streisand!" and passed out again
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
Randomize