I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Surefire way to sober up: discover that your car is being towed at 2 am.
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am never going on a blind date ever again. He drank way too much and kept telling me I had a nice boob. Like.. Singular. What's the other one? The ugly twin?
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
My roommate was tripping balls last night, he kept me up all fucking night
Roommate? Please tell me you're not calling your cat your roommate
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
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