She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
Is it 3pm? Or am I losing my mind because it's pickled in vodka and diet coke?
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
I am at a point in my life where I don't want to brush my teeth for my tinder date because toothpaste and martinis don't mix.
I DO have hobbies! I drink. I drink more. I catfish men on Grindr with photos of guys who are less attractive than me. I listen to Lovecraftian podcasts. I'm very well-rounded.
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
Randomize
