is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
Ok. In one sink is a hairdrier. Still plugged in. The other is filled with broken glass. What do I do?!
Nvm. Bloody hand trumps dead. Also, where is gauze.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
If you got me high enough to laugh at a ceiling fan until I shat my pants you should at least have the decency to buy me another pair
I'M CUDDLING WITH MY CAT AND THAT GUY SENT ME A DICK PIC. UNANNOUNCED DICK PICS ARE TERRIFYING AND MY CAT WILL NEVER BE THE SAME
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
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