Dude stop singing. Your life is not an episode of fucking glee
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
You used a fucking bud light like as lube last night. I'd get a UTI test like stat.
It'd be good to change things up a bit, right now the only public service I'm doing from my apt is hanging out in my underwear with the lights on.
Randomize
