I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
Dude I'm 99% sure I'm witnessing an e-harmony date at panera, prob late 40's, this is better than the movies.
He came on my chest. Sat back and said "hey it sorta looks like lake michigan!" kill me now...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
I've hit an all time low of asking baristas what would go good with marshmallow vodka. I think I might hire one to party with all of us. To make hangover drinks
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
My heart feels like a grape in a barrel about to be crushed into wine
I know I say this every year but 2015 will be the year I finally have sex with David's sister
Where are you guys?
Drunk
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