you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
I woke up five hours later with a mouthful of Jimmy John's while clinging to my sandwich.
Found a girl that was gonna make out with 25 people for her 25th birthday. I was like #12. Made top half!
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
I'm drunk eating a quesadilla while this kid is tryina come over and I'm just like no. I want the quesadilla.
I will pay you in sex, beer and popcorn if you will come fold my clothes for me.
Add free use of your panini press and its a deal.
Deal.
I'm disproportionately drunk. But I also spelled disproportionately right twice so maybe I'm not that drunk
So help me God.... if he sends me a dick pic.... I will make it so he has to eat food through a tube in his nose and poop into a bag by his belly button
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
During my first week as an adjunct prof, I played a fiercely fought game of squash with a law student and we wound up having hot, sweaty, angry sex right on the floor of the court. She is either the best or worst thing to happen to my academic career. Will let you know.
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Randomize
