We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
It took him longer to remove his skinny jeans than it did for him to finish. I didn't even have time to realize it sucked until it was already over.
complete strangers are now referring to me as 'the bourbon guy.' i can live with this.
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
If you bring chipotle to my house i'll let you eat your burrito out of my vagina
My dad just asked Siri to "help me find my daughters dignity."
If you were my daughter, I'd do the same thing.
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
Why is there never any toilet paper at his apartment? What does he wipe his ass with? WHAT DOES HE WIPE IT WITH?!?
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
When my parents ask, do you think "he was the cop I gave head to in order to get out of a speeding ticket" will suffice as to how we met?
Randomize
