i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
The trash can in my living room is full of Popsicle sticks and my vibrator has taken up permanent residence on my coffee table. I'm not doing anything productive. Clearly.
I woke up today in my boxers hugging a log and realized that I think I've gotten close enough to nature. I really need to stop doing shrooms with you
I'm going to start charging you rent if you keep leaving your random conquests on my living room couch the morning after
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
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