Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
At lowes after workin outside. Kid behind me says "mommy that man smells like a taco" yes she was talking about me.
I figured it out. hungover me hates drunk me, drunk me hates sober me, and sober me hates being sober. so yes, were blacking out tonight.
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
Watching the series finale of Friends and crying in my Thai food. I don't like hangover Jared.
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
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