He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?!
Did you leave a blizzard on my porch last night? Or was that someone else giving out a metaphorical threat to me?
Dude, you sent that text at 9:44 AM. Who thinks of drugs that early?
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
Hurricane Harvey ruined my dick appt. WTF?!
Can I come over and use your shower? My roommate got drunk last night and took my bathroom door off its hinges
I'm glad I didn't see Grandma stumbling drunk and peeing herself...it would be like seeing my future.
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
Randomize
