Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
I'm not upset because i like you. I'm upset because I can't use you for the sex anymore.
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
You are the voice of reason. And I'm bringing wine. Like seriously this is his last chance. Don't touch me once, shame on you.. Don't touch me twice, shame on me
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
I know it was your bday but bringing a airhorn and blowing it yelling "buy me a fucking shot" in the bartenders face was a little uncalled for
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
i swear every fucking time i plan a party, one of our "friends" holds their shit in all week just to punch one off into the master bathroom after i pass out. it's almost like that dump you would see in a port a potty.
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
Randomize