I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
If you are breathing, I want you at your house. No non-breathing-related excuses.
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
I'm dying of laughter, but I'm also just dying
Send help
I just got promised sex at a fire station tonight so basically all my porn star dreams are coming true.
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
I don't know what she did to me last night, but the scratches on my back indicate that I had sex with a Bengal tiger last night.
Woke up this morning to him making out with me in his sleep, then I had to go on a scavenger hunt to find a used condom before my roommate got back... it was under my pillow.
Randomize
