i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
Looking at the victoria's secret website makes the ice cream I'm eating taste like sadness and obesity
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
My wedding band has saved me from at least four cases of herpes tonight.
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
Grandpa just put 6 jello shots on his plate. My aunt tried to take them away; he flipped her off. Living in the retirement home has hardened him.
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
My ex unfollowed me on SPOTIFY bruh. Freaking spotify. The butthurt is real
Sorry didnt text you yesterday. had to put restraining order on my ex.
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
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