Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
a cabby told me that vodka is the coors light of liquor, and then gave me his number
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
you literally stared at me for three minutes and then said "hey this tequila isn't gonna drink itself, boss"
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
I got a message the other day that just said “great tits”
A gentleman AND a scholar
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
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