there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
Sorry about blasting sandstorm on a loop when i left for work this morning. But maybe this will teach you to not come home trashed on a tuesday night with some chick and have loud sex till 4 in the morning. The walls are thin, remember?
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
TIL a potato cannon can be loaded with dildos as ammunition. Boy, do our neighbours love us!
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
You know you're drunk when you have to be picked up out of a bathtub.
Randomize
