dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
Nothing like the It's a Small World ride at Disneyland to remind you to take your birth control. I took it on the boat yesterday
Facebook stalking ex-girlfriends who went to rehab. This is my life.
The fact that there are multiple ex-girlfriends who have been to rehab concerns me
Almost there.
define "almost". like I have enough time to watch a youtube video or oh shit, put on some goddamn pants because they're in the driveway.
An old man just slapped my ass and handed me five dollars while I was filling chips at subway. I feel violated, but that was the easiest five dollars I've ever made.
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
A guy caught me talking to a sock today in the Laundry room if it makes you feel any better
Sadly that does. Why...where you talking to a sock
Bc I didn't know him and I asked him where he came from and why he was hanging out with my thongs
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