I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
i forgot how awkward it is to meet new people sober
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I started a USA chant at the bar last night for no reason, other than being plastered. Within 15 seconds, I was standing on a table and the whole bar was chanting but nobody knew why.
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
Randomize