What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
I woke up spooning with a broom that someone taped a mustache too..i need to stop starting my nights by drinking "hangover" wine.
Two hot shots of tequila for breakfast? Yeah today is gonna be a shit show
My brother slept till 4, bought a sword, got drunk and sharpened said sword. I went to corporate compliance training. Life is not fair.
Oprah Winfrey is a jealous, vengeful god
You're going to hell! And you're going to hell! And you! And you. You're all going to hell!!!
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
So, Kevin dropping me off at urgent care. Seems my tampon slipped out of reach. Even after he tried to get it out with some kitchen tongs.
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
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