I'm gonna start referring to my vag as my ladygarden
I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
Just found an unopened tied g of coke on the floor in her room... she thinks the maintenance guy dropped it earlier today. This takes the cake for sketchiest apartment.
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
I mean, I'm shallow, narcissistic, and selfish, but I'm an amazing friend sometimes
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
We need to stop calling him that. I definitely said “Fuck me harder Swizzle Dick“ while we were doing it and it got weird
He should appreciate that I recommend that corkscrew cock of his! I’m getting him laid
Randomize