If I ever start a band I'm gonna name it "Nancy Reagan's Vagina"
he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"
you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
WERE YOU GOING TO TELL ME THERE WAS A LOAF OF BANANA BREAD IN THE OVEN BEFORE YOU LEFT FOR A 5 HOUR SHIFT??
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
I just need a text that says "put that food down bitch" and then maybe I'll lose water weight through tears
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
Randomize
