Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
The last time you said "no one will know" is when you ran out of sprite at your birthday party and dumped a handle of straight up vodka into the jungle juice.
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
He's upstairs shouting 'FUCK OFF I'M IN MY MOTHERFUCKING ZEN ZONE' out of the window.
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
You can help me! We'll make an occasion of it. Have some rum, make some smores, condemn the email system to the pits of hell...
Randomize
