Dude, she's so old there's a chalk outline where her reproductive organs used to be.
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
Standing in front of the open refrigerator with a 3/4 empty bottle of wine eating Bac-o's from the jar, topless. Somebody really should've taught me better coping skills.
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
Turns out he's old enough to be my dad. I'm so excited. I've never had a sugar daddy before. What should I ask for first!? Want anything?
I am incapable of maintaining a guy's interest in me. It's like erectile dysfunction but with feelings
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
How long have I been using my debit card as a coaster?
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
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