Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
I fell asleep at the bar. And the bouncer threw a snowball at my face.
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
Bear grylls would be proud of my improvisation. Just used her vibrator to massage my back after hurting it at work.
Randomize
