I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
i keep telling myself in the mirror "get undrunk"
Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
We're going to catch a squirrel this summer
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
Randomize
