Dude. Muppets take manhattan on netflix instant. Pass my midterm or relive my childhood? Tough decision.
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
I was blowdrying my hair this morning and I swear to god it smelled like franzia
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
It's like....nice talking about real estate but your son gave me herpes
I hate it when fuck holes buy me drinks at the bar. You don't know my order. You don't know me. You don't know where I've been. You don't know my life.
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
Randomize
