It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
You work out of a Hotel?
I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
So I just opened the bag you gave me and those panties aren't mine...
oh
I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
You just got cockblocked by Conan O'Brien.
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
mom just asked if we are going to need more kaluha as she pulls 5 out of the cupboard. this xmas might kill me
The bank teller laughed at me....I'm apparently that fucking hungover looking
All I wanted was my $85. Judgement free. But nooooo
Bringing my cat to a booty call was not my finest hour
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
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