never play flip cup with pint glasses
Shiiiit I think I'm getting sick. probably had something to do with the fact that i shared my mouth with everyone last night.
Wait. That came out far sluttier than I intended.
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
I'm beginning to think the only reason I get laid anymore is girls are fantasizing sleeping with my dad...
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
You would think a husband, a boyfriend, and a vibrator would be enough. But sadly it's not
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
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