Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
You never realize just how much you have to be thankful for until you almost shit yourself in a Target.
SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH!
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
i am about to cut my stepbrother's hair into a mohawk with the same clippers i use to trim my pubes. god is so on my side today.
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
I'm hiding her cosmo magazine. the only sex tip she needs is to not handcuff her boyfriend to her roommates bed and lose the key
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
So instead of going to meet her mom, I decided to jump out of her window which was about 1.5 stories off the ground. I'm alright, but I ended up meeting her mom anyway.
my favorite part of this morning was sitting at the gynecologist smelling like cigarettes and wearing yesterday's clothes.
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
Randomize
