The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
Do you ever wonder how many people have prayed for you to be a better person?
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
I wish dancing around my house in my bra and underwear to Love Shack whilst eating strawberry cake batter was an acceptable form of exercise.
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
Will you be my therapist? I don't want to tell me secrets to a strange person and be judged all over again when you have already taken the time to do it. Oh and I will pay you with alcohol
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
It says a lot about the way my life is going right now that 'there's no shit in your house' is fucking good news.
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
Can we throw a "death to my 20s" party when I turn 30?
Sure. Funeral attire and hard liquor
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