I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Every time I stand up, gravity punches me in the tits. This is horrible.
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
Based on the fact my iPad is covered in pizza, I'm going to assume I ate pizza last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
WHY DID HE INTRODUCE ME TO HIS MOM? CAN'T HE JUST HIDE ME LIKE EVERYONE ELSE I'VE EVER DATED?@!
All my friends are getting into relationships and going through breakups and I'm having Plan Bs and crunch wraps for dinner.
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
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