took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
He was waring a speedo fashioned out of american flag bandanas and when he got hard he said "you're such a patriot...raising the american flag like that"
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
It gives me purpose in life to help fulfill nerdy fantasies. Like I'm doing something good for mankind and having multiple orgasms in the process.
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
Help me help you realize you are a moron
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
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