her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
This morning my doorman told me it was an accomplishment for me to be standing and conscious after last night.
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
I got back from work this morning after working the night shift to find an NFL player scaling the side of our apartment...from your window. He just took sneaking out to all new level. Care to explain?
I think that about sums it up, actually.
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
We are all done wearing pants today
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
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