do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
mom just made me 'sorry-you-have-hpv-pancakes'
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
A little, yeah. We were stealing firewood from the neighbors (drunk), and figured it would be 10 times harder to be angry with us if we got caught if we were naked, and 100% more hilarious.
So my parents just watched me pour their rum into a bottle and only add crystal light powder, no water... Talk about being judged. All I could say was "Cortland tricks?"
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
Instead of texting me to come over, she just sends me a batman symbol.
I don't care if she's a booty call. Marry her.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
