Where is the hickey?
You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
My nephew just told me I smell like apathy and regret. Thats the hangover I'm dealing with
If we had kids we couldn't come home, get high and watch porn together. And that's like the only reason I get up in the morning
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
I just used my vibrator to scratch my back. This being single shit is for the birds
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
I feel like him using the excuse "I'm not a fan of lying" to stop me from sleeping around is hypocritical since he's cheating on his wife with me.
Randomize
