i can't believe i had my finger in that
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
Gave a homeless guy 3 bucks earlier. Just saw him at the bar. He bought one beer and left. Happy to see my 3 dollars was well spent
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
Brightest idea yet: lets drink enough at ladies-drink-free nights to make up for the cost of tampons. Breaking even on having vaginas!
Wait do we still get bagels if no one got laid
I know it doesn't seem right, but sometimes, bagels are just flat out called for.
I just realized I haven't had a date or a potential possibility of a date in about a year. Then I realized I wanted to actually go on a date. But I'm sitting here getting high instead of being at a party. Life.
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
The fact that you cheered yourself on while you puked saying it was your first college puke, blacked out, and sang taylor swift to the toilet confirms the fact that we are related. I've never been more proud.
He’s going to a lawnmower race. I got a Brazilian and he’s racing a lawnmower race. Pick me up. I’m not wasting this waxing on John Deer
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