so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
Both guys that I'm dating were waiting for me in the parking lot after work. Literally the most awkward situation I have ever been in
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
I just read my D.A.R.E. essay from 5th grade. I'm having mixed feelings about my previous life choices right now.
The cop asked me why my pants were around my knees when he woke me from the sink, i replied "Officer, my underwear is still on, nothing bad happened" then he nodded in acknowledgement and we carried on with the paper work.
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
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