Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
He says I tipped the waitress ten dollars because she "smelled like pigs in a blanket."
This is the moment in my life where I take a fork in the "nice guy" road ive traveled for 23 years and fuck everything in sight that doesnt have herpes, or is in-between flare ups and I don't know about it until my dick is on fire.
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
Randomize