ugh. my soul tastes like vodka
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
So somehow I got from NYC to a suburban town in the middle of Jersey. At 4am. Thank god there are trains that can rectify my mistakes...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Before I go in, is 'I just got a root canal 2 hours ago' a good excuse to show up drunk to yoga class with a 6 pack? Because if not I think I need to go home.
Opened the browser on my phone to a web search for midget birth rates per capita. A good night.
Apparently this establishment won't let you rent a sailboat if you have been drinking rum all morning
Like, bro, how do you think I got the idea to go sailing
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
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