It's noon and i am somehow drinking by myself in a jazz tent in broad daylight.
I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
Just got a lapdance on the metro. She said she was on maternity leave and needed the practice.
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
I need someone to meet me at the end of the road and throw captain morgan at my face like they do with water at marathons
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
Just found an airplane bottle of whiskey and I didn't put it in my coffee. I think I deserve a little recognition this morning.
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
As a BFF it is your duty to answer when I drunk call you at 3 in the morning because I couldn't find a knife to cut that cake. I finally found one, fell asleep with it and the cake in bed. K thanks bye.
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
Randomize
