So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
zippers are such a cool invention
Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
Today should be called shooting fish in a barrel day. Every place ive gone to ive met a girl who regrets not hooking up last night. There have not been girls this easy since Fathers Day
on a related note, did you know that the fire alarm in our apartment talks?
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The perfect man would keep a whisky sour in my hand and give me endless sex. I really don't think that's too much to ask for.
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
is that a dick in a sweater?
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
They just canceled the season. It’s going to be harder to bang soccer moms this year
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