I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
My new apartment is within walking distance of both the liquor store and the chinese buffet. This is either going to be my worst life choice ever or my best.
Just lit a joint with steel wool and a 9 volt battery... thank you 3rd grade science class
I have six drafts of messages to you that just say "blood" and I have no idea where they came from.
Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
We'll get you some ice cream, but no sprinkles. Sprinkles are for winners.
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
Randomize