Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
My hickies are dark enough that I can feel drivers judging me from across an intersection
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
He accidentally opened the car door during sex and all the lights came on. Needless to say, that kid passing by who was walking his dog got scarred for life.
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
How is there no taco emoji?! That's some bullshit.
I jizzed in his mayonnaise and put it back in the fridge. Shouldn't have stolen my weed.
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
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