If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
You ran the halls of the dorm naked handing out condoms. You were the sex fairy. Best you can do if you're not getting laid.
Randomize
