I swear she didn't look like that last week.
Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
I had to show the prof your text saying that I could pick up your midterm for you. I covered the part of the screen saying you weren't there because you were about to have morning choke sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
He wants me to have his first child. So that makes four gay men that've called dibs on my eggs.
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
I wish drunk me wasn't so into manscaping. Or at least good at it. Either or really
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
Better safe and shitfaced than hungover and in need of another surgery.
Omg I literally just wanna sleep with you right now. Like actual sleep. Not sex. Well maybe. But sleep first
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
Who told you that acid and Jurassic World was a good idea?
dont remember, but I'm pretty sure I was convinced that the hybrid dinosaur was satan the whole time. It was actually very spiritual
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
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