Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
My life has literally become a dickpocolypse. Thank you, summer, I missed you.
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
Drinking with a woman who gave an anti-drugs speech at my high school. Somehow, not surprised.
I just can't have sex with a guy who has nicer eyebrows than me
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
I've never been this drunk around this many toddlers
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
Randomize
