remember about an hour ago when i told you i was never drinking again? i may or may not be mixing malibu with caprisun. just saying.
did the hipsters beat you up because you are more ironic than they are?
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
i woke up on the floor in front of the fireplace and my last google search was "fuck sponges"
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
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