I think we were cool up until the point where he saw that planned parenthood was on my speed dial.
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
Your heart is a swirling cauldron of blackness that does not pump blood but rather a sludgey mixture of evil and broken dreams.
Why do I have a wristband from the birthing center at the University of Maryland hospital....
I was just trying to be a good friend but in retrospect I probably shouldn't have pepper sprayed you.
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
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