IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
You asked me if I was judging you for being drunk, and if I can hypnotize you make sober.
I sewed up my pants, stole his girlfriends white shirt, and went to work hungover like a responsible adult.
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
He said he's going to karaoke tonight and I just spilled a bunch of Cheetos on the floor and ate them all. So that's my night.
He literally ejaculated and I hit Uber
Randomize
