I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
oh. my. god. the guy i hooked up with last night is currently wearing a dress.
Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
I guess I'll put a green shirt on. Also, I just snorted some protein shake power. That doesn't have anything to do with St. Patrick's Day. I just wanted you to know in case i die.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
I was stalking his twitter and saw that he used punctuation in a hashtag. Thank god we didn't work out because I can't be with someone that incompetent
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh good, bag of butt plugs is in my predictive text now
Typing the whole thing out was getting to be such a chore
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
My whole life is a joke
Yeah. I’m starting to see why you drink so much.
Went to bed still wearing my bralette. When I was changing this morning, a Tootsie Roll fell out. I'm definitely living my best life.
Idk I just think that seeing that man's Twitter always resulting in me looking for the whiskey is a bad sign
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