Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
Came home and the girl was sitting on the steps "talking" on her ipod touch AND was halfway done eating a raw cucumber.
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
You don't want to cheat on your husband, you just want to fuck someone who isn't him.
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
I just found out how I got home last night. The bartenders found me sitting in the brush peeing and called me a cab. Have you seen my underwear?
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
He sounds like Chris Tucker and wants to eat me out when I’m on my period. If that isn’t love I don’t know what is.
Randomize
