I just watched a guy get turned down by a prostitute
it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
Whenever I'm sad I just imagine if babies were born with mustaches...
Ordered my mom Mother's Day flowers online and moved on to internet porn. Do you think this is some sort of Freudian slip?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
Just saw the mall santa roll by on a rascal scooter holding a chic-fil-a milkshake and stop to chat up trio of cute 20-somethings. New hero.
Desperation looks like a $1 bottle of vodka and warm Cuban tap water.
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
Even my fuck buddy told me I needed a boyfriend. Fml.
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
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