Non-Jews are for practice
I look like Roseanne just got in a bar fight with Rosie O'Donnell.
I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
Fuck. I just got my nipple tweaked by a plus size drag queen in a purple dress. I feel like I got molested by Grimace.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Attn every girl I've slept with in the past 26 years of my life. One of you cunts gave me herpes. This is the 4th of 5 group MMS. That's right. It's in the 50s. There are two girls I don't have #s for. One was on a cruise and the other was a prostitute in Amsterdam. So which of you has herpes?
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
I just saw an ad for "fair trade quinoa vodka". Fuck this world and everyone in it.
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
God, I missed his penis.
I need your help immediately! I sorta kinda sliced my foot off at the ankle with my new kitana. Bring your cooler, ice and some hospital road beers.
Oh I had the weirdest dream in which I was an archeologist stealing a golden dildo from a snobby British person
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