..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
tod's in jail
he was afraid of holiday checkpoints so we let him ride my mom's tandem bike home. by himself. at 4 am.
This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
So, apparently I made everyone omelets last night. Even when I'm drunk, I'm still a trophy wife.
he started fingering my stomach rolls instead of my vag... am i really that fat?
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
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